i think this thought pretty frequently:
“i wonder how life will be a year from now”
..knowing that life usually changes drastically within a year. at least it’s been this way for the past 5 years. i feel like i’ve lived so many lives and i’m only 27 lol. about to be 28 soon though.. what is life!!!
i’m definitely in a brand new season. last year, i shifted internally and spiritually. it was an intense, expedited healing session that needed to happen (thank you Jesus). i’ve always lived my life with Jesus on the sidelines lowkey, but i’m fr a woman of God now. i made God my very first priority and she’s different.. and it’s noticeable lol. an external thing now. i’m so proud of myself because i’ve come a LONG WAYYYYY. monte don’t even know man.. this version of me needed to arrive before meeting him though. oh yeah, i met my husband. we’re not married yet, but i’m pretty sure this is the man God’s been preparing me for and vise versa. (and if he’s not the one, Lord take him away asap bc i can’t go through that again pls). not sure if i’ve mentioned him in a previous post (it’s been so long). the story of how we met is pretty amazing, a story only God can put together honestly. it’s been almost 7 months, but it feels like 2-3 years. in the best way. we’re in a bit of a rough reason right now but I’m trusting God and his plans.. some things weren’t what i expected, it’s been a test of my faith honestly. but monte is amazing. he’s an answered prayer. on so many levels. he’s the glue to my family and i prophesied that within a couple weeks of dating. we grow closer each day and i’m just really excited to do life with him.
i’m in therapy rn and it’s going great. i felt ready to look inwards to improve the relationship i have with my parents. tomorrow will be my 4th session. it’s been progressive so far. learning a lot about myself.. and my dad.
been doing youtube for over a year now and we’re still growing. currently at 776 subscribers. how? idek bruh. but i’m going to keep going, even though idk what i’m doing more than half the time. i will say: my confidence has gone up a ton though. my fcks to give about what people think don’t really exist anymore. that’s HUGE. if that was the purpose of it all, praise God fr. elaine’s friend manages content creators and she’s setting up a content plan for me.. so we’ll see how that goes. i started doing lashes. but kinda stopped. we’ll see on that too. i’m working part time as an exam proctor (proctor.. ba dum tss). it’s funny because i applied before maxim, but didn’t get my first shift until i quit care partners. God’s timing lol. i’m actually at work right now.
and here i am wondering how life will be like next year.. i feel like God’s going to blow my mind. as he always does.. (he blew my brains out with monte lol). i know our circumstances are going to change soon though. all glory to God. God’s behind the wheel and i’m cruisingggg wheeeeeeeeee